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Day 14.
Wow. Words cannot even begin to describe how deeply saddened I was when I awoke on Friday. From the second I opened my eyes, I was engaged in an intense battle not to cry uncontrollably…a battle which I largely lost.
I rolled out of bed unusually early that morning, hurriedly packed my belongings, separated the skirts I wished to leave, and threw my luggage outside. I ate a quick breakfast, grabbed my camera and journal, and headed over to be with my Sudanese friends for the last time.
Snapshot of Friday:
-Packed, ate breakfast, and spent time with the Sudanese
-*Edited to Add* Received a phone call from Bob Livingston, who relayed a message from Blaise
-Went to Bil and Kim to get a whole list of Nuer words I wanted to remember
-Strapped my backpack on and left the compound with the team and the Sudanese
-Waited at the airstrip for our little plane
-Said goodbye to my new mathdani, boarded the plane, waved goodbye, and cried majority of the way back to Kampala
-Arrived in Entebbe and felt my first wave of reverse culture shock
-Arrived at Kajjansi and loaded into a taxi bus
-Arrived at the Henderson’s house, washed my hands with running water, ate my first “real” meal, took my first post-Sudan shower with hot, running water
-Enjoyed fellowship with the team and our Sudanese travel companions (Jengmer, Buay, and Kang)
After a super quick breakfast, I grabbed my camera to catch this glorious sunrise on our last morning in Nasir, Sudan…
Then Mandy and I went over to visit with the women as they finished their morning tea. Thanks, Buay, for the following shots…
Mandy and I hung out for a bit, and then we left them to go spend some time with the guys. Mandy played for a few minutes, chasing Goi’s brother…
Buay had been working in Sudan for a few months before we arrived; however, because the rainy season is building in strength, there is little more he can do until the dry season (there’s no way to haul supplies, etc.). Buay traveled with us back to Texas, where he has lived since he was resettled in the U.S. That morning, as we were packing to leave, Buay realized that his bag was locked and he had lost the key somewhere along the way. Here, Buay and several of the guys try to break the lock. Eventually, they did get it open, but not without some really creative attempts…
Is she not the cutest little baby you’ve ever seen?
Buay (center) with his brother (left) and uncle (right). Yes, his brother is on a cell phone…in Sudan!
Mandy with Buay’s brother and uncle (note: the uncle didn’t look that tall next to Buay, but next to Mandy he’s giant!)…
After standing around chatting with Bil and Kim for a while, it was time to head to the airstrip. Wow, I was SO not ready to go! As I gathered my backpack and camera bag, Kim offered to carry my backpack. I foolishly told him that I would carry it, but I let him carry my camera bag since I couldn’t strap them both on. We grabbed one last shot on the compound, and then we left.
We not only had the Sudanese who worked on our compound helping us, but many other people whom I had never seen or had seen around the village. With all of our bags, trunks, and supplies, it looked as though we had been there for months! The following are shots I grabbed as we walked- Sudanese pace, which is like a trot for me- the mile to the airstrip…
Thankfully, we had a while to wait at the airstrip, so we set everything down and just hung out…
So, as we were waiting, this random parade of singing and ululating women went by. I heard someone say that it was a national holiday and someone else said it was for the new commissioner, so I actually have no idea what it was for, but here they are…
I was trying to video and photograph the parade, so I handed Kim my video camera and he shot the footage while I photographed…
Mandy and I had to get a couple more shots with the guys. I cannot begin to describe how blessed I am just to have known them. They taught me a lot about their culture, and about the fact that friendship comes in so many forms and crosses so many barriers. I am so thankful for their friendship…
Way too soon, we heard the faint whine of our plane’s engine as it approached Nasir. As soon as we heard it, my stomach started to hurt. I felt really nervous about leaving, and I knew immediately that I would be homesick for Sudan. No amount of wishing or praying would make the trip longer, so our plane landed and we began to load everything up. Here’s the plane that took me away…
There was a decent-sized crowd gathering, and it felt a little chaotic as we milled around; however, I took the opportunity to get some final shots in Sudan…
Mandy grabbed these two…
Unfortunately, the moment quickly arrived when I had to board the plane, and as I did, I knew that I would not be completely happy until the moment when I return to Sudan. To distract myself from the actual idea of leaving, I just started shooting like crazy from inside the plane…
As we prepared to take off, the pilot informed us that we were really close to payload, and that he had to reach a minimum speed before we could lift off (faster than normal). Because the airstrip ends in the Sobat River, he told us that if he didn’t hit that speed, he would hit the brakes and we would have to try again. We hurled down the dirt airstrip, rattling away, and when we pulled off of the ground, you could feel gravity pulling back…but we were off.
Nasir falls away…
Basically, the entire flight back to Uganda was me taking pictures, journaling, crying, and talking to Mandy. Here are the shots I got as we flew…
Juba, Sudan. *Edited to Add* While we were waiting for the crew to refuel our Cessna in Juba (which was 110 degrees), Mandy and I rode up to the Juba International Airport to go for a leg stretch (to the bathroom). The long drop in the airport seriously made the Nasir long drop look like the Hilton…and smell like the Hilton, too! On our short ride back to the plane, I was looking out the window and saw this young boy, maybe 8 or 9 years old, digging through a huge mound of trash. Of course, the sight brought a familiar sting to my eyes, and said to Mandy, “I will never be the same again.”
Kampala, Uganda…
Highs:
-Gorgeous sunrise that looked to be hand-painted by God
-Getting to spend the last couple of hours with the Sudanese. It really struck me how powerful the trip was and how different I will always be as a result of knowing and loving on these amazing people.
-Embarrassing Bil and Kim again with my “bathroom” question…they wouldn’t spell it out loud for me, so Kim wrote it in my journal instead!
-*Edited to Add* Receiving the phone call from Bob, telling me that I got my job back at school! I had turned that whole situation over to God only a couple of days before, so it truly was an answered prayer when Bob called me!
-Heading to the airstrip at a near-run, wondering who was leading us at such an insane pace, and seeing Bil and Buay way ahead of us!
-Getting a few extra minutes at the airstrip with the Sudanese.
-Arriving safely in Uganda…albeit with a broken heart.
-Getting to spend a few extra days with Jengmer, Buay, and Kang, as well as the rest of the team, before coming home.
Lows:
-Definitely leaving that morning. I have never experienced love so big, life so simple and humble, and God so powerfully. I completely understand all of those stories of people who leave Africa and say that they left their hearts there…I really did, too. A huge chunk of my heart remains in Southern Sudan, and leaving it there was excruciating.
-Being in the airport in Entebbe, Uganda. As I stood in line for Immigrations- dirty, sunburned, and tired- I looked around and already felt culture shock wash over me. A woman stood in high heels and a mini-skirt and people ignored each other in line. Peter said that when you fall in love with Sudan, every step of the trip gets harder…and that was so true.
Lessons God Taught Me:
-Every single challenge involved in serving God is completely worth it! As painful as it was to leave Sudan, the beauty of the pain was that it meant I had loved so deeply while I was there. There’s a Garth Brook’s song that says, “I could have missed the pain, but then I would have missed the dance.” So true. The bug bites, the strep throat, the angry intestines, and the tears were all so worth it to shake all of those hands, hold those children, tell those Bible stories, take those pictures, make those friends, and share in so much laughter. The Sudanese taught me lesson after lesson in living for others, serving God, sacrificing myself, living simply and humbly, and finding joy and praising God no matter what! The impression that they made on my life will remain no matter where I find myself in the future (though, hopefully that will be right back among the Sudanese). I will never be the same person as I was when I left, and though we went there with a mission to serve the Sudanese, instead they served me SO MUCH more!
-God gave me eyes, but faith is how I should see (borrowed from a Sanctus Real song). I have always liked to consider myself an independent person. Unfortunately, that left little room for relying on God. In Sudan, however, I had to turn over complete control of pretty much everything. The entire journey was faith-based, and through it I realized that in my life at home I need to let go of control. I have been tricking myself for years into believing that I somehow can affect the outcomes of certain situations (like my job, Blaise’s job, saving x amount of dollars by such and such time, etc.). In Sudan, I came face-to-face with my lack of faith, and I realized that while I am still a planner, most of my life is really in God’s hands and there’s little I can do except lean on Him to lead me. It is actually so nice to be released from the burdens of stress and worry, and to know that no matter what, He will provide for us AND He has promised to never give us more than we can handle. What more could I ask for?
-Never to take anything for granted. Going to Sudan peeled away all of the conveniences of American life that I have never had to live without. Things like running water, electricity, a doctor, grocery stores, and so on just simply weren’t available to me in Nasir, and having all of that fall away really made me realize just how much I took for granted in my daily life at home. Also, before going to Sudan I was definitely guilty of the “I’ll get to it tomorrow” attitude with a lot of things. I had a tendency to procrastinate, always assuming that there would be a tomorrow. Not only did I take the small things, like books and cars for granted, but I took my own life for granted, too. I assumed that if I didn’t get around to carrying my cross on Thursday, it was fine, I would pick it up and carry it on Friday or Saturday…or the next Tuesday when we went downtown on a homeless mission. What I didn’t realize was that I wasted SO much time that I could have used serving God. I took every breath for granted. One of my favorite lines from the book, Crazy Love, and one that I hope to live by for the rest of my life is, “Is this what I want to be doing when Jesus returns?” Make every minute count!
