A little more than two weeks ago, we climbed into a little Express Jet and flew back to Indiana for the first time [for me] in nearly five months. It was a trip that I had honestly been kind of nervous about, mostly because I was afraid that it would only make it harder to return to Houston. However, as the departure date neared, I was increasingly excited about returning to the place of our roots and getting to catch up with family and friends that I hadn’t seen in six months or more.
Thankfully, by the time we left Houston we had also already left that cloud of darkness behind us (see this post) and we could return to Indiana with joy and anticipation. As I sat on the plane and stared out at the small cities that quickly disappeared into the black night below us, a thought occurred to me: we are missionaries.
WE ARE MISSIONARIES!
So I’m a little late to catch on. We committed to go to South Sudan more than a year ago, but sitting on that plane at 30,000 feet was the very first moment that I really felt like a missionary. I don’t know why, exactly, that moment struck me, but I was suddenly desperate to get to a notebook or scrap of paper and jot down my thoughts. I scrounged one up, and this is what I wrote:
As I sit on this plane taking me back to Indiana, I realize that this is the beginning of a beautiful life as a missionary. Future years will be filled with treks “home” to love on family and reconnect with my roots. What I know in this moment is that God has called me to be a nomad and that my only real home is in Heaven. I know there will be bittersweet visits and painful goodbyes in my future. I know there will be growing-up years for my nieces and nephew. I know that going “home” will never again feel the same or mean the same thing. But I surrender it all for the glory of Jesus…to see broken hearts made brand new and broken lives restored.
I am excited about whatever it is that God has for us. For right now that means living, working, ministering, and training in Houston, and very soon that will mean living, working, ministering, and discipling in South Sudan. It does mean that we will spend long periods of time away from the people closest to our hearts, but we have become keenly aware that this life is but a blip on the radar. We choose to be away from our families for extended periods of time to advance His Kingdom in South Sudan.
There is no better reason that I can think of to be away.
