This is yet another blog post that comes straight from my heart. It is something that I have been struggling with, praying about, and seeking God’s guidance on.
As you know, I am spending three months of next year back in Kampala, Uganda with Aid Sudan. I have been approved for an educational internship in which I will be working on developing teacher training materials and other fun educational stuff to be implemented in Southern Sudanese schools. I cannot tell you how excited I am to be going back, and how much I hope to give and learn through this new experience.
Excited as I am, however, there are still some doubts eating away at me. Mostly, I keep questioning whether or not I actually know enough to be doing something like this. I feel like I do not know anything, and then when I account for how different the educational systems are and the vastly different psychological, emotional, and academic needs of Sudanese children…I start to feel like an absolute fraud!
Ask me how to develop lesson plans and meet academic standards here in Indiana, and I can tell you. Ask me how to motivate a group of at-risk teenagers to do their homework, and I can give you some ideas. Ask me how to apply educational theories and teaching strategies into a classroom for students with disabilities, and I can write you a lengthy academic paper in APA-format. However, ask me to answer any of the above questions within the context of Southern Sudan, and I will likely have a mini-heart attack.
Recently, I shared these doubts and concerns with my dear Aunt Kim. Her immediate response to me was, “And don’t you think that’s exactly how Satan wants you to feel?” Of course he does. For the next hour or so we talked about how limited we, as humans, are in every situation in which God places us. We also talked about how, when our expertise and knowledge runs out, God’s eternal wisdom continues. Simply: where we cannot, God can.
So, as much as I still doubt how much what I know will actually help Aid Sudan next summer, I do not doubt that God clearly led me to do this. I trust Him, so I will go and I will live and work by this simple motto: I cannot, but God can.
P.S. The Radio ’10 Campaign has brought in over $30,000 so far…that’s enough for 1,500 radios! However, the goal is $80,000…or enough for 4,000 radios…so visit www.aidsudan.org/radio-10-campaign to learn more and donate!!!