I cannot say when it happened for sure. One year after re-entry, we were really still transitioning. I wrote this blog post last year at this time that talked about how some things were still so very hard and confusing for us, how we still felt lost so much of the time. I asked for your grace, because we lacked the words or the clarity to fully explain what we had been and were still walking through.
One year ago, we were still healing and still trying to figure it out. We could see how much we’d healed over the past year, and we were thankful, but we knew there was still more to do.
I wrote,
And as difficult as this past year has been, we know a time is coming when this season, with all of its ups and downs, will be over, and we’ll be ready to pour our whole selves into whatever it is that God has for us next. And we know it’s coming because we look at how much God has healed us and refreshed us in the last year; as we have sought Him, He has been faithful to not leave us where we were.
Y’all, we’re finally there. I don’t know when, exactly, it happened, but at some point we quietly slipped out of the turbulent part of the re-entry season and into this new season. We can look back at that tumultuous season of life and we can see how carefully God carried us in His hands through it all. We can see the way he carefully put the pieces back together, creating a much more beautiful mosaic than we could have ever imagined. And honestly, as hard as it all was, it was both necessary and good. We needed to walk through each emotion in order to fully process it and move on. We needed to allow ourselves to feel lost for a season, so that now, as we seek Him and what’s ahead, we’ll be able to see clearly what He is calling us to.
This New Season
We’re excited to finally be in this place. It’s one of peace, of security, of confidence. It’s also one of deep gratitude. After the crazy roller coaster ride that was re-entry, it’s great to be in a place where we can recognize that some things will never feel “normal” to us again, and that’s okay. As long as we live in the States, we’ll always feel a longing for village life in South Sudan and deeply miss our friends there. We’ll always feel the rub of our own culture and how uncomfortable it can be. We’ll always struggle to explain why it was all so hard. But that’s okay. We had an incredible opportunity to live in a land that few will ever visit, to see God work in ways we could have never imagined, to have walked through hardships that have absolutely shaped and strengthened our faith.
There’s a Garth Brooks song that says, “I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance.”
And I do NOT want to miss the chance to dance with Jesus.
So where are we today?
Since last summer, we’ve added a new baby to our family. Elliot was born in November and is an amazing, hilarious, full-of-personality little boy. Clark has adjusted amazingly well to being a big brother, and the two of them are already hilarious together. We are part of a new church now. We started attending last summer, and it has been a huge blessing in so many ways. We’ve each been able to plug into ministries that fit our hearts, we’ve found a great community of believers, and we’re excited to keep growing and serving there. And we’re seeking His will for what’s next. We still feel burdened for cross-cultural ministry and we hope that someday we find ourselves back in South Sudan, but we feel like something a bit unexpected might be on the horizon. We’re praying through it and I promise to keep you updated.
Until next time, here are a couple of photos…
