Homeschooling is hard. Being consistent, homeschooling through the doldrums, and battling everyone’s sin nature (including my own) make it hard. But this year, our biggest challenge has been figuring out how to successfully homeschool with a toddler around.
This year, Mr. Seven is in second grade, Mr. Five is a preschooler, and Little Miss is 2 years old. I LOVE her fiery personality and her desire to always be a part of things. But that’s also what makes this year especially challenging.
Homeschooling with a toddler around is no joke.
HOW HOMESCHOOLING WITH A TODDLER WAS GOING AT THE START OF THE YEAR
We were just a few weeks into the school year when I hit a wall. Every day was the same scenario. We’d somehow power through our morning basket time, usually with me reading while Little Miss was literally climbing and jumping over me and taking all of the books out of our basket. Then we’d head to the homeschool room and begin Mr. Seven’s lessons.
Except then Little Miss would come toddling in, wanting to climb on my lap, grab all of the books, and play instead of stay quiet. I’d try to keep her entertained quietly while simultaneously leading Mr. Seven through a lesson, and then Little Miss would begin crying and throwing a tantrum because I wasn’t giving her sufficient attention at the moment.
And just when I’d think I couldn’t handle any more, Mr. Five (four at the time) would come waltzing in, asking when it was his turn to do school.
I’d internally melt down and feel so incredibly defeated.
I decided something needed to change, but what?
I’ve always believed that homeschooling has to work for everyone in the family, and I’ve always wanted everyone to feel included. The “atmosphere” bit of our Charlotte Mason education was sorely suffering, and none of us were enjoying school.
SOLUTION 1: SWITCHING OUR LESSONS FROM MORNINGS TO AFTERNOONS
I called a family meeting, and the kids and I decided that we’d switch our lessons from the mornings to the afternoons while Little Miss was napping. That would allow us to focus on school without her disrupting our lessons, and it would allow her to have unlimited access to me in the mornings.
So, feeling buoyed by my solution, we implemented our new schedule the next day. And it worked well!
But within a week, I realized that there’s a solid reason we do our lessons in the mornings: we’re tired and lack motivation in the afternoons. After lunch, we feel sleepy and it’s just a natural time of the day for quiet time. Not school lessons.
We persisted for a couple more weeks, but I really started to feel frazzled and run down. By having our lessons during Little Miss’s nap time, that meant that I didn’t get any down time by myself all day long. And I just cannot function that way!
So it was back to the drawing board.
SOLUTION 2: IMPLEMENTING THE BUDDY SYSTEM FOR HOMESCHOOLING WITH A TODDLER
I don’t know where I had seen or heard about it, but I had a fuzzy memory of reading about the “buddy system” for younger siblings during homeschool lessons.
I figured it was worth a shot, so I sat the boys down and explained that we would switch our lessons back to the mornings. But we’d be doing the “buddy system.”
We’d all do our morning basket together, but then when we moved to our lessons, the boys would take turns playing with Little Miss so I could work one-on-one with each child.
So while Mr. Seven does his spelling lesson, for example, Mr. Five plays with Little Miss. Then they switch, and Mr. Five comes to do a preschool activity (since he BEGGED to do school this year) while Mr. Seven plays with Little Miss. And we rotate through the lessons like this. I usually cover 2 of Mr. Seven’s subjects while Mr. Five plays, since Mr. Seven has a lot more to do. But it works incredibly well!
And there have been a few unexpected benefits!
THREE UNEXPECTED BENEFITS OF THE BUDDY SYSTEM FOR HOMESCHOOLING WITH A TODDLER
First, Little Miss loves that one-on-one time she gets with each brother.
I’ve seen a huge change in their sibling relationships for the better since starting this. Before, Mr. Five (four at the time) didn’t really know how to play in a way that included Little Miss in his games. So she naturally gravitated toward playing with Mr. Seven instead, because he was better at tailoring things for her. I could see the hurt and rejection that Mr. Five felt, but I wasn’t sure how to help. It turns out, this has helped a lot! He’s learning how to play with a 2 year old and include her, and she’s learning just how much fun he is!
Second, because she’s getting that one-on-one time the whole time I’m homeschooling, she doesn’t need my undivided attention during lessons.
She still comes to “check in” with me periodically. And sometimes she’ll climb onto my lap and snuggle for a few minutes. But she’s much more content to play with them throughout our lesson time. It has reduced interruptions and made school a pleasant time for all of us.
Third, Mr. Five craves one-on-one time with me, and now he gets it every single day.
Juggling the needs of 3 kids is no easy task, and because Mr. Seven has to do school and Little Miss demands attention, Mr. Five wouldn’t always get the undivided attention he wanted. But now he can count on that time each morning, and it has honestly been so good for both of us. We often stretch out his activities a little longer just so we can giggle and work together for a few more minutes.
The *ONLY* drawback to this system is that it does make our lessons take longer overall. I used to have Mr. Five do some alphabet activities while Mr. Seven did his reading lessons. So both boys would get work done in that 20 minute time slot. Now, it takes twice as long to do reading for both of them. BUT the trade off is TOTALLY worth it!
We’ve been doing the buddy system for 5 months now, and it is working beautifully!
Are there days when we still have meltdowns and tantrums? Of course! Some days Mr. Five whines because he doesn’t want to play with Little Miss at all. Some days Mr. Seven complains because he doesn’t want to do school.
But in general, our days are much less chaotic, there are way fewer tantrums, and everyone’s needs are being met.
A FEW OTHER IDEAS FOR HOMESCHOOLING WITH A TODDLER
I’ve heard a few other suggestions for successfully homeschooling older siblings with a toddler around. Each family is different and each child’s needs are different, so some of these might work better for you than others.
01 | SPEND ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH YOUR TODDLER BEFORE BEGINNING SCHOOL WITH YOUR OLDER CHILD(REN) TO FILL UP THEIR LOVE TANK FIRST.
A good friend of mine suggested this, as it worked really well for her toddler. I do always start our morning basket time with picture books just for my toddler, and I try to sit down with her and play a bit. But she’s honestly not happy unless she’s right in the middle of things. So she loved the one-on-one time, but then would be mad when I needed to move on. This may work really well for your toddler, though!
02 | HAVE A DEDICATED BASKET OF TODDLER-APPROVED ACTIVITIES THAT YOUR TODDLER CAN DO/PLAY WITH DURING SCHOOL.
Another homeschooling friend of mine uses this successfully with her toddler. And I do this a bit. When we first move to the homeschool room for lessons, Little Miss joins all of us for our Bible lesson. I have a small basket of activities (play doh, fine motor activities, etc) that she can play with in her high chair while we do our Bible lesson, and then once we’re done with that, she and Mr. Five go play.
03 | EMBRACE THE CHAOS AND ALLOW YOUR TODDLER TO BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THINGS.
I mean, we all kind of have to do this to some extent anyway, right? Each of my three kids have such different temperaments. When Mr. Five was only a toddler, he could be at the table with us, sort of participate, or sit on my lap while I did Kindergarten with Mr. Seven. Your toddler may be able to be in the middle of things without completely disrupting lessons for your older kiddos, and if so, I’d totally embrace that!
What I know is this: this season of life – though it feels long right now – is really so short. I’ll blink and all three of my kiddos will be school-aged. I’ll blink again, and they’ll all be grown and flown.
Yes, right now it’s chaotic. But it won’t always be so!
So hang in there, Mama. You’re doing great!
Do you have some ideas for how to homeschool with a toddler (or baby) in the mix? I’d love to hear them below!
