God created me with an absolute passion for learning…I think it’s a huge reason why I love teaching so much. As a part of that desire to always be studying and learning, I read extensively. I don’t just read now and then when I have down time…I read all of the time (as in, I average anywhere from 5-10 books per month depending on whether I’m working or not)! At work, I read educational literature, newsletters, and websites to further my depth and breadth of knowledge; at home, I read memoirs, biographies, and blogs to increase my awareness of global issues, various cultures, and human struggles/triumphs; for the mission field, I read biographies of missionary greats, spiritual warfare materials, and other literature on how to do missions. Reading is a tremendous part of who I am. On occasion I read fiction, but it has to be pretty compelling (like the Hunger Games!).
So it’s no surprise that God uses books to speak to me. It’s one of my love languages, I’m pretty sure! A great example of this is the fact that reading almost of all of What is the What was enough to convict me to travel to Sudan and love people whom I’d never met and with whom I have very little in common (and I say “almost all” because I wasn’t even at the end of the book before deciding that I had to go). Recently, I have been fasting from secular books (I would recommend this) and choosing to read only literature which will increase my faith, expand my view of God, and encourage us in this life of missions to which we have been called. And let me tell you, God has been TALKING!
I mentioned yesterday that I read two books by Kim Abernethy, In This Place and In Every Place. Both books together chronicle her family’s cross-cultural missionary career and provided me with some valuable insight and encouragement. Abernethy writes in such an honest and revealing way that I can actually relate to her struggles. She doesn’t place herself on some holier-than-thou pedestal that our culture often does to missionaries…she’s a flawed human who followed God’s call on her life, just like I am trying to do. One thing she wrote is this, “If we ask God to use our lives completely for His glory, we should then be prepared for our lives to seemingly spiral out of our control and ultimately into His will” (In Every Place, emphasis hers). Wowza! That is EXACTLY where I feel like we’re at right now…spiraling out of control. I had an epic meltdown last weekend (short only of me actually throwing myself on the ground and flailing), and I actually said out loud that I feel like everything is out of control: our house, our fundraising, my job search, the timing of everything, and on and on. It was epic, and you can believe that Satan was having a great time with my little pity party…I was focused only on myself and not at all on God. Then I read this quote, and it was like God smacked me upside the head…it’s not about me and my will for my life!
Another thing she wrote in her first book, In This Place, is this, “Then there are those times when He calls us out to walk alone with Him–down paths that may seem very strange and isolated, but also potentially fruitful. Are you heading down one of those paths?” I’m going to admit, when I read this, I had not yet had my epic meltdown (I’ll tell you about it later) which eventually led to a breakthrough for me spiritually, so although I highlighted it in my reading, I was not yet prepared to embrace its meaning. However, where I am now, this speaks volumes to me about our unique situation. As Christians, our lives are not supposed to look like everyone else’s…they should be radically different. This obviously means something different for each person, but for us this means that we are to give up our fleshly comforts for the sake of His calling. It has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do–leaving our house–but I believe that this is just one of the times that He is calling us to walk alone.
I’ve also been reading a book called Spiritual Warfare by Jerry Rankin, which focuses on the lies Satan tells us and the daily struggles we face to fully live our lives for Christ. I love it, because nearly every page speaks to me about something we’ve experienced over the last nine months: our families being angry at us and hurting us with their words, the temptations to desert our calling and live the lives of comfort we had planned, and even the struggle to raise support in such a tough economic climate. The book is laden with Scripture and encouragement to keep fighting the good fight, and to not take our eyes off of Christ for even one second, lest we will sink into the life the world tells us is the right one, the deserved one.
I’m so thankful that we serve a God who loves us enough to meet us exactly where we are in life. I have been hurting and struggling to keep my focus on Him while the world has been vying for my attention, but God is bigger than the world. In addition to moving me powerfully through Scripture, He has also been speaking to me through voices of experience…through the lives of those who have served Him faithfully all around the world.
I love that He speaks my love language of books!
