The Storm…

I debated on whether or not to even write this post, but I decided that in order to be true to my goal of sharing my experiences related to traveling to Sudan, I would go ahead and share.

I am currently in the middle of a storm.  No, not an actual meteorological storm, but the kind we face in life that is a barrage of trials.  I’m being barraged by trials.  Right now.  I cannot (well, will not) share the exact nature of the trial I’m enduring, but suffice to say that it is completely zapping my energy and my strength.  I’ve been trying SO hard to prepare for leaving in May, but this trial is completely overshadowing everything and I feel so behind where I want to be.  It started out as a true blessing from God, this trial, but you know what they say about too much of a good thing…

I want to emotionally prepare for leaving, but I’m being emotionally drained.  I want to get all loose ends tied before I leave, but I have no drive.  I want to feel strong, rested, and excited in the coming weeks, but I feel overwhelmed and exhausted.  I want to feel unabated joy, but I feel frustration and anxiety.

And it has nothing to do with the trip…it’s really only exacerbated by the trip.  I really am excited about the trip.  I have a countdown going (59 days), suitcases pulled out of closets, and Sudan supplies gathering on our bench.  But even as I look forward to going, I also feel pulled down by what I’m experiencing.  I’m trying very hard to see how God is moving in all of this, how He is using this to prepare me, but I feel that I cannot see the blessings through the storm.  

I just ask for your prayers right now, in the midst of this storm, that God would provide comfort and strength for me, and that He would give me not a second more than I can handle.