Waiting.

As many of you know, December 15th was the start of more than a month of fighting in South Sudan.  What started in Juba allegedly as an attempted coup (there’s controversy surrounding that allegation) quickly led to fighting that spread to Bor, Malakal, Bentiu, and many villages in between.  As 2013 rolled into 2014, the fighting had killed more than a thousand and displaced hundreds of thousands.  And as of yesterday, BBC Africa reported that an estimated 10,000 people have been killed and nearly 500,000 displaced (although they also reported that a ceasefire has been signed, so we are hopeful that the end is in sight).

For the first two and half weeks or so that we were in Kampala, we called our friend, Gatdet, about every other day to check in with him.  He continued to assure us that Nasir was good, our compound was secure, and everything was fine.  A few days after the New Year, our calls no longer went through to anyone in Nasir.  The cell towers has been disabled to discourage on-the-ground communication, so we no longer knew what was happening in Nasir.  We did later hear reports of a day or two of rioting and looting in Nasir, but that was several weeks ago and all has been quiet since then (per regular security updates).

So what does all of this mean for us?

Well, it means that we didn’t go back to Nasir as scheduled last Friday, January 17th.  We have a meeting every Friday to compile all of the information we have about the security situation in South Sudan, and specifically in the region surrounding Nasir.  It is at that time we decide whether or not to return to Nasir the following Friday.  We are looking for several things to happen before we make the decision to go back, including on-the-ground communication, a report from our compound, and sustained peace in the region, among other things.

I do want to clarify: every single adult on our team is eager to get back to Nasir as soon as possible.  Our homes are there, our ministry is there, our hearts are there.  We want to be there, too! However, we are neither trained nor prepared to live and work in the midst of a conflict situation, so we feel that both our team and EV is being very wise and prayerful about when to send us back.  And we will go back.

But how does this affect us personally?

It’s honestly been heartbreaking to watch this all play out.  It’s one thing to see a brief clip on the news about a conflict in some far-away country, but it’s another thing altogether to know that there are people we love in the middle of that conflict.  It’s deeply personal for us to see the news reports from South Sudan.  We worry for our friends in Nasir.  We grieve for South Sudan.

It has also been quite frustrating to be “stranded” in Kampala with no definite return date scheduled.  Thankfully, we have work to do while we’re here (radio training is underway, and I’ll blog about that later), so we aren’t just sitting around waiting.  But there’s certainly a growing restlessness among us.  We were called to Nasir, not Kampala.  I thought Christina said it perfectly in her blog post, Limbo, “More than once I have wanted to either be in Nasir or back in the States.”  It’s the in-between that is the hardest.  The not knowing.  The not being able to move forward or backward.  It is hard.

However, we also rest in God’s sovereignty.  I have had to remind myself multiple times that God knew this would happen before we ever left the soil of our motherland.  He knew it, and He had a plan.  I’ve been tempted to brush it off by thinking, “God wouldn’t turn our lives upside down to come all the way here, just to go back after 5 or 6 months.”  And while I still don’t think that will happen, I also have to ask myself, “If that was His plan, would I be okay with it?” It’s certainly an exercise in surrender and trust.  Is my WHOLE life surrendered to Him? Do I trust what He has planned in my future? And if there are any nagging doubts, why are they there? How can I submit them to Him?

All this to say, we are warring in prayer, interceding on behalf of those in South Sudan.  We are begging God to do something RADICAL in the hearts of Salva Kiir and Riek Machar.  We are pleading with Him to pour forgiveness into the hearts of all of the people in South Sudan.  We are praying for reconciliation and lasting peace.  And of course we are desperately asking Him for an awakening in the nation…for hundreds of thousands of salvations.

And we are hopeful that in just a few weeks we will be returning to the place where we left our hearts.  We will resume language, ministry, and life, though likely not exactly as before, because now there are fresh wounds in South Sudan that need to heal.  But we will be there, in the midst of it, begging God for healing to come quickly.

Here’s a picture from Day 1 of radio training, as we all prayed together (courtesy of Neltia)…

Please join us in praying.