Why We Don’t Do Santa Claus (& What We Do Instead)

Today’s post may be a touch controversial. But not on purpose, I promise! I’m simply sharing my heart on why we don’t do Santa Claus in our home. My hope is that this will not only help others understand our reasons, but that it’ll encourage you if you find yourself wondering whether or not to make Santa a part of your Christmas celebrations. (I ask that you are kind in your responses if you choose to do things differently in your family.)

I’m also sharing what we do instead of Santa, because we do still want Christmas to be a wonder-filled time of year. It just looks a bit different here without the man in the big red suit.

Before I even start sharing our heartfelt reasons why we don’t do Santa Claus, let me first say this:

Our choice not to celebrate Santa Claus is in NO WAY a judgement of your choice to do so, nor is it a condemnation or judgement of the way we were raised. It’s just that: our choice.

Blaise and I were both raised believing in Santa Claus, and we both have some wonderful childhood memories that revolve around that tradition. But we prayerfully considered this issue, and landed in a different place than our parents did (and than many parents do). I believe there is freedom in how we, as believers, celebrate each holiday.

Freedom for you and freedom for me.

SO WHAT ON EARTH MADE US NOT WANT TO DO SANTA CLAUS WITH OUR KIDS ANYWAY?

Several years ago, when we still lived in South Sudan – before we had kids – we got into a random conversation with our teammates about holiday traditions that our families had. I said that we would certainly continue the tradition of Santa Claus with our future, hypothetical children…why wouldn’t we?

A healthy debate ensued, in which the only couple with children argued against lying to our kids about something that does nothing to add to the value of Christmas. At the time, I remember inwardly rolling my eyes and thinking that there was no way I was going to give up EVERYTHING fun just because I’m a Christian. I mean, I had already given up the luxuries and comforts of America to live on the foreign mission field. What more could people ask??

The funny thing about all of those absolutes I believed before having kids was that virtually none of them remained true after having the real life, flesh-and-blood babies in my arms.

Santa Claus included.

The very first Christmas with a baby in my arms, Mr. Six was only five months old, so we didn’t need to make a decision about Santa yet. But we began talking about it the following fall. And we talked and debated and prayed. In the end, we felt strongly that celebrating Christmas with Santa Claus was not the right choice for our family.

WHY WE DON’T DO SANTA CLAUS IN OUR HOME

Reason No. 1 | We decided early on that we would always tell our kids the [age-appropriate] truth.

This is hard in real-life, but we’ve stuck to our guns on this one. Kids can smell deceit from a mile away, and they can tell when adults are being dodgy. We didn’t feel like telling our kids lies, even small ones, would build a foundation of trust in our home.

And when we considered whether or not to tell the Santa lie, a big consideration was the fact that we want our words to have weight. We didn’t want to tell them that Santa was real, only to have the rug ripped out from under them later, making them wonder what else we lied about. We didn’t want that to lead to questions about whether God is real or the Gospel is true.

We want our kids to trust that when we answer them or tell them something, it is completely truthful. Always.

And again, this one is really hard lived out in real life. They ask hard questions that don’t have easy answers, but we take a deep breath, say a quick prayer, and answer them in the most honest way we can for their age. It has certainly been sanctifying, but I hope and pray that as our children grow, they appreciate that we trust them with the truth.

Please hear me, I’m not saying your kids won’t trust you or that you’re diminishing the Gospel to your kids if you’ve chosen to include Santa Claus in your Christmas celebrations. There’s a lot of room for different traditions. For us, this one was just really important.

Reason No. 2 | We feel that the myth of Santa Claus is not God-honoring in the way it’s typically done.

Our family celebrates Christmas – and observes Advent – because it’s a season of expectantly preparing our hearts for the coming of our King. We celebrate the miraculous birth of Christ, the life He lived, and the sacrifice He made for us on the Cross. We look forward to the day when He returns to take us home with Him.

The truth is, it seemed confusing for us to say, “Jesus is the reason not only for this season, but for our very existence,” but then to instead focus all of our efforts and attention on Santa. We feared it would send mixed signals to our children.

Another thing that has always bothered me is the way Santa is often used as a bargaining chip during the holidays. Who hasn’t heard, “If you’re not good, Santa won’t stop at our house!” It is a message that we feel is completely counter to the Gospel message of grace. We didn’t want to guilt our children into toeing the line so that they get all the things on their Christmas list.

I’m SO THANKFUL that God doesn’t do that to us. Can you imagine if the prevailing message was, “If you’re not good enough, Jesus’ shed blood won’t cover you??” None of us would ever be good enough!

We want our home to be Gospel-centered and grace-saturated.

And we know that there are ways to do Santa Claus differently. We know that in many of our friends’ homes, Santa is a part of Christmas, but not necessarily center-stage. However, as we prayed about it, we felt like the most God-honoring way for our family to celebrate Christmas was to keep the focus very clearly on Jesus.

Reason No. 3 | The Santa Claus myth ignores the reality of privilege.

The reality of life in this fallen world is that while some people never want for anything in their lives, others struggle to make ends meet. We try to model generosity for our kids all throughout the year, but there are always extra opportunities to give to others during Christmas.

We honestly couldn’t reconcile how to tell our kids that Santa is real and that he stops at everyone’s house to leave presents for the kids, and then turn around and buy gifts for kids whose parents can’t afford them. Because why would we need to give to others when Santa does that???

To us, it felt like the most honest way to teach our kids about generosity (and the need for generosity) is to say there is not a Santa Claus who magically delivers presents to children all around the world – rich and poor. But instead to say the Holy Spirit moves us to be generous to others. So in a way, we can all act as a “Santa” to other people through that generous spirit.

And that’s exactly what we do. We still play “Santa Claus,” but instead of our kids believing in a fake character, they get to be part of giving gifts to others. And that’s been pretty magical!

OKAY, WE DON’T DO SANTA CLAUSE. SO WHAT DO WE DO TO MAKE CHRISTMAS A WONDER-FILLED TIME OF THE YEAR?

Just because we don’t do Santa Clause doesn’t mean we don’t still want wonder and joy, excitement and awe. We try not to go overboard with Christmas gifts, but Blaise and I do really love giving good gifts to our children. So there are of course gifts, and the kids really look forward to waking up on Christmas morning to a pile of them waiting under the tree.

We are just really intentional to make sure everything we do points to Christ. Even in our gift giving, we remind our children that God also delights in giving us gifts. And that Jesus is the ultimate gift.

We also enjoy loads of fun Christmas-themed activities starting the day after Thanksgiving and going until New Year’s Day. Here are 25 of our favorite activities (and grab the free printable below):

1. Completing the Truth in the Tinsel curriculum activities
2. Playing dress up as Santa
3. Baking & decorating Christmas cookies
4. Decorating gingerbread houses
5. Reading a new Christmas book each day
6. Making salt dough ornaments
7. Driving around to see Christmas lights
8. Attending Christmas Eve service at church
9. Watching Christmas cartoons & sipping hot chocolate
10. Wearing matching Christmas jammies
11. Pretending to be “Santa” to a family in our community
12. Reading, listening to, and watching The Nutcracker (we love this Story Orchestra version)
13. Sending missionary care packages
14. Having a winter bonfire with hot chocolate
15. Making birthday cards for Jesus
16. Making a birthday cake for Jesus
17. Making paper ornaments & snowflakes to decorate the house
18. Having Christmas music dance parties
19. Putting on a family play of the nativity on Christmas Eve
20. Going to see a live nativity
21. Making Christmas treats for our neighbors
22. Decorating our own Night Tree
23. Watching the lighting of a local town tree
24. Making birdseed ornaments for winter birds
25. Decorating our own Christmas tree

I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! DOES YOUR FAMILY DO SANTA CLAUS? WHAT HELPED YOU MAKE YOUR DECISION?