It’s World Doula Week, so I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about why we use a birth doula and why I’ll never give birth without one again!
From the moment we decided to use a birth doula for Mr. Two’s birth, we received numerous questions. Some people had never heard of a doula and wanted to know what they do. Some people were more skeptical and asked questions such as, “Isn’t that what the nurses are for?”
What is a birth doula?
So let me start by explaining what a doula is and what she does. A birth doula is a woman who has been trained to support a mother (and her partner) throughout labor. She is well-educated about everything labor and delivery!
- She knows great exercises to prepare a pregnant body for birth.
- She understands the medical terminology and what different options mean for mother and baby.
- She knows which positions and labor support tools can offer relief and encourage labor to progress.
- She familiarizes herself with the mother’s birth plans, history, desires, and fears.
- She advocates for the mother and the mother’s birth plan.
- She stays for the entire duration of labor and unlike medical staff, her sole focus is on the laboring mother.
- She offers encouragement, natural pain relief, and labor coaching.
Why did we choose to use a birth doula?
Mr. Four was born in Uganda via emergency C-section. Nothing I had hoped or dreamed about his birth went according to plan, and we were in a very foreign culture trying to navigate my options and his NICU stay.
It was terrifying.
When we found out we were pregnant with Mr. Two (this time in the States) I was again terrified. But not entirely because of what had happened to Mr. Four.
I had heard horror stories of how the medical world in America treats laboring moms: inducing labor when it is completely unnecessary, threatening women during labor to get them to agree to a C-section, etc, etc.
I knew that in all likelihood, the vast majority of doctors are amazingly supportive of laboring moms (and my OB didn’t bat an eye at my desire to attempt a VBAC). However, VBACs comes with a unique set of challenges in the typical American hospital. They make some doctors very nervous and I knew that I wanted my own advocate, someone who could stand in the gap while I was in labor and needing to make decisions. Someone who was well-informed, experienced, and prepared to help give me a very different birth experience than I’d had with Mr. Four.
Enter our doula.
First, she met us in our home to discuss what she does and how she does it. She made us feel instantly comfortable with her, and it was a no-brainer that we would hire her to be with us for Mr. Two’s birth.
She came to our home for two prenatal appointments, in which we discussed everything from our past birth experience, fears we were carrying, hopes we had for this birth, and the birth plan we were using. We talked in depth about all of our different birth options, and even practiced positions and techniques for labor.
She especially put us at ease about what to expect birthing in an American hospital.
By the time my due date rolled around, we felt well-prepared for birth. She had been in touch after each and every doctor’s appointment I had, so when I had my last appointment and was told my blood pressure was way too high to safely remain pregnant, Julie was there, ready to move forward with our options and help me make the best decisions with my goals in mind.
26-ish Hours of Labor Support
She met us at the hospital the following morning for our induction, and stayed with us for the next 26-ish hours as I was induced, labored, and finally delivered Mr. Two. She remained with us after his birth to make sure he successfully latched on to breastfeed, and once she was confident we were recovering well, she took her leave.
During labor, she advocated for my birth plan (already off the rails with an induction), helped me make sense of some of the options we were given by the medical staff, and supported me as I labored and labored. And labored.
She helped me change positions, helped me in the shower for some pain relief, helped me learn how to push effectively, and encouraged me the entire time.
We cannot imagine ever giving birth without a doula again!
Julie told us at one point that she could deliver a baby in an emergency situation, but that’s not her job. Her job is not to provide medical care or even tell us what to do.
A doula’s job is to educate her clients on all the options, prepare the mother for birth, explain the medical language and various possibly outcomes in layman’s terms, and support the mother as she labors and delivers.
She’s a constant companion, a calm, loving presence in the chaos of labor, and an essential part of our birth experience!
Julie was the very first person we announced our pregnancy to this time, because it wasn’t even a question that we want her present at this baby’s birth, too! And if you’re at all on the fence about using a doula, I would highly recommend it!
