Several people have asked me if I have been feeling overwhelmed with emotion as time draws nearer. I usually just squeak out, “You could say that,” or, “Maybe just a tad.” There’s really no way to describe what I am feeling right now in whole sentences that would give you an accurate pictures of the chaos swirling inside. I mean, I am leaving the comfort of my own home and family in SIX DAYS and will be gone for THREE MONTHS! So, I’m just going to jot down some words that describe how I feel and what I think at random moments throughout the days…
anxious. excited. hesitant. relieved. nervous. shocked. sad. torn. awestruck. terrified. adventure. journey. beauty. love. God. peace. stress. cautious. eager. bewildered. joyous. planned. called. overwhelmed. blessed. loved. longing. prepared. packed. serve. change. culture. language. food. sentimental. scared. homesick. lonely. rejoice. share. learn. teach. hopeful. grace. nauseous. curious. sleepless. encouraged. supported. anticipating. surrendered. confident. unsure. steady. gracious. pumped. ecstatic. disbelieving. calm. charismatic. imaginative. wonderful. amazed. ready.
Perhaps I feel too much, or perhaps this is par for the course. I don’t know how others feel when they prepare for something like this, but I do know that as time draws nearer I do feel more peace about going. I went through about a week of sleeplessness and anxiety, but I have since spent many days in diligent Bible study and prayer. The anxiety is gone, replaced by butterflies in the stomach, and the sleeplessness has been cured by some amazing melatonin supplements! God has SO comforted me and provided for me as I prepare for this time away, and I continue to be overwhelmed by the love and support of others. This is going to be AWESOME!!